Sylvia Matuschek fights for consolation: self-help group for relatives who have committed suicide

Sylvia Matuschek fights for consolation: self-help group for relatives who have committed suicide

In the rolling hills of the Eifel, a woman took an important step to deal with the grief and pain after the loss of her husband. Sylvia Matuschek, who lost her husband Ralf to suicide in August 2022, founded a self-help group for relatives of suicide victims, which was launched in March 2023. Their story began with a radical move - the couple moved to the Eifel at the end of 2018 in search of a better quality of life. But the happiness didn't last long, because Ralf suffered from depression, increasingly began to struggle with panic attacks and eventually expressed suicidal thoughts.

What was once a quiet everyday life for Sylvia Matuschek turned into a nightmare. Ralf was hospitalized several times, but he never presented himself to the doctors and denied his suicidal thoughts. Sylvia describes how her husband changed over time and how she became increasingly afraid of him. “The relatives often experience stigmatization and feel left alone in times of misfortune,” says Matuschek. Her husband was not only her partner but also a loved one, and the knowledge of his struggle was difficult to bear.

The path to self-help

“The self-help group offers a protected space for sharing and processing grief,” explains Matuschek. In Germany, the numbers are alarming: around 30 people die by suicide every day, and around 10,300 suicides were registered in 2023, which corresponds to an increase of 6.6 percent compared to the last ten years. During this challenging time, it is important that family members can support each other. In the Euskirchen district there are two self-help groups for relatives who have committed suicide, one in the Caritas-Haus Schleiden and an Agus self-help group in Euskirchen.

“Dealing with grief after suicide is a long, often winding road,” says an analysis of grief and suicide. Feelings have their own laws and change over time. Matuschek emphasizes that psychotherapeutic support is essential, while self-help groups cannot replace it. An important element in dealing with grief is giving meaning to the loss. “Engagement in suicide prevention can help to create positive changes from the painful experience,” reports the Trosthelden platform.

The challenge of grieving

Grieving itself is not linear – relapses into grief are completely normal. It is important to have confidence in your own strength to overcome difficult moments and continue to grow. Anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one must also learn to deal with feelings of guilt and shame. Feeling joy without having to neglect the memory of the deceased is permitted and necessary. “Activities that are good for you and connect you with life are important,” it is said, and many of those affected discover new perspectives and ways to process grief in nature and in exchanges with friends.

In conclusion, Sylvia Matuschek's self-help group is not only a place of pain, but also of hope and change. It offers a network that enables relatives to support one another, learn from one another and ultimately find ways to integrate the memory of the deceased into their lives. This is how love remains, even if pain is part of life.